Should You Be As Kind To Yourself As You Are To Your Clients?

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." -Aesop

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop

As coaches and other solo professionals, we spend much of our time thinking about how to be kind and supporting for our clients and potential clients.  And that’s a good thing.

Inc. Magazine had a good article that could benefit both you and your clients – “52 Ways You Can Be Kinder to Yourself.”

If you’re feeling stressed, there are healthy ways to deal with your feelings.” We’ve taken six of those 52 ways you can help yourself when you’re feeling stressed and we’ll look at some ways you can be kinder to yourself.

“Learn to calm your mind. A calm mind is the best weapon against even the biggest challenges.”

There are many ways to calm your mind and reduce your stress.  To do this, first notice what you’re thinking when you’re feeling stressed.  For you, it may be how to get clients. 

Did you go from being an employee to coach training and then to trying to be a self-employed coach, with no real knowledge of what it takes to be successful in that role.  This is a recipe for ongoing stress.  Get the information you’re missing to be a successful self-employed coach.

In this case, we’re talking about understanding what a fair fee would be for both you and your client. Not knowing this is one of the things that will cause you lasting stress, plus harm for the many clients you could be helping.   

“Embrace the unknown. Fear of the unknown can be truly paralyzing, but having the courage and conviction to take a chance can turn fear to your advantage.”

For many coaches, the fear of the unknown is “if I charge what I need to make a living, clients won’t work with me.” There are proven ways to determine fees that are fair for both you and your clients.  It’s your responsibility to know and use those basic business skills. 

Marketing is a big unknown and even paralyzing for many of you.  You’ll be amazed how much easier and more successful your marketing is when you’re comfortable answering the “What Do You Charge” question.  Knowing this will improve your marketing results… no matter how or where you decide to market your coaching.

“Be compassionate toward yourself. Be as understanding with yourself as you would be with your best friend. If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”

In this case, being compassionate toward yourself includes knowing what you need to charge to make a living doing what you love… after paying your business expenses and taxes, etc.  

“Don’t ever settle. Never accept less than you deserve, because once you start to settle, you always will.” 

Clients can pick up on your insecurities when you discuss your fees.  And, this reinforces your tendencies to undercharge.

“Shut down negative self-talk. The things you tell yourself every day are either going to lift you up or tear you down. It’s your choice.” 

If your self-talk is about comparing your coaching to others, that comes under the heading of negative self-talk.

“Respect yourself fully. Always treat yourself with the same respect you show others. Remember, the world sees what you put out there–so hold yourself to a high standard.”

You want the best for your clients.  Many times you see possibilities for your clients that they didn’t see. Are you treating yourself with the same respect you show your clients?  That’s an example of what being kinder to yourself is all about.  Get the information you need to be successful as a solo coach.  In this case we’re talking about what you need to know before you start trying to set fees, market, and get clients. Knowing this will contribute a lot to your success.  Try it and see.

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